In your family are you the tour guide or the travel agent?

Recently I was taking my kids to get something to eat after a hard day at the church.  I wasn’t really interested in talking my husband Jason wasn’t with us and I just didn’t want to think.  So we ended up at the old classic KFC.  While we sat down to eat the kids began to tell me about their day and prompted conversation out of me.  But while they continued to talk I took notice of a man in the corner of the restaurant who wasn’t eating just sitting.  It was obvious that he was in a struggle since his clothes were filthy and his hair a mess and in a brief second that seemed much longer in the moment I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Buy him dinner!”  This wasn’t unusual for me since I have tried to demonstrate Christ as often as I can to those in need but this time was different.

So I got from my seat told the kids I would be right back and I went and asked him if I could buy him dinner.  Of course in elation he responded with a resounding “YES, Thank you mam.”  As I purchased the meal and headed back to give it to him I noticed my kids had congregated over to him and engaged him into a conversation….one saying “Yes Jesus does love you!”  While the other said, “My grandparents are helping people in Africa this week.”  I made it over to them and instructed them to return to their seats and gave the man dinner.  It wasn’t too long after that we left.  It wasn’t two minutes into the car that my daughter pipes from the back…”That is what we do isn’t mom?”  I inquired “What?”  She said, “We help people!”  I pondered for a time and said “Yes that is what we do!”  As the questions flooded from them as our drive continued I felt the Lord say, “Sometimes it is for them.”  I knew exactly what He meant.

God used this small sacrifice of money and time to not just share the gospel with a homeless man but to allow my children to see firsthand the call upon us as a family and as Christians.  He helped me be the tour guide for a Christ like life not just a travel agent.   It just reminded me that when my children can see God in everyday affairs their view of the world expands and changes.  It is my duty to teach them Christ…demonstrate Christ like nature….not be a travel agent for church alone!  As a parent I have to be the lead to introduce my children to the personality of Christ through continually showing them who Christ is by the way I talk, walk, and even listen.  I want to be the tour guide of their lives not the travel agent…I don’t want to sell them a product I have never experienced or demonstrated…I want to walk with them and show them the very goodness of God!

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where no matter what you could think of, the response would be one that was all wrong? Well, based on a recent experience, here’s a little advice. Before you say anything, before it gets out of hand…walk away and don’t come back until you can come up with a good response or don’t come back to it at all.  “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression.” (Proverbs 19:11 NASB)

I was insulted and I have to admit, irate. The individual “confronting” me had it all wrong but, my emotions got the best of me; I flew off the handle and lost control. Now, I can try to justify it but, however you look at it my reaction to what happened was completely wrong. Colossians 3:15 says, “…let the peace of God act as referee in your emotions and your decisions.” (Paraphrased) And let’s just say peace was nowhere close to being part of the equation.

We all have opportunities to “fly off the handle”, to “set the record straight” or to just “go off“. But there is a concept that will serve you well if followed, the “Principle of Prior Choice”. Before an occasion presents itself, make a decision that when given the opportunity, your response will not be to “fly off the handle” or feel the need to “set the record straight” but be “…quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” (James 1:18-20 NASB)

Proverbs 16:32 says, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city”. So YOU rule your spirit and like everything else God instructs us to do, it brings great reward and keeps you from looking like an idiot in the process…(BTW, idiot was a personal reference, LOL!)

Michelle M.

Do you have the “other sister” syndrome in your house?  As a preacher’s daughter I grew up feeling sometimes the church was my other “sister”.  You know, the feeling that church life had a place setting at every dinner table and every event.  Even my ball games in school sometimes were interrupted because my Dad or Mom were attending to the “other sister”.  It took many years to allow God to process a part of me that wasn’t the result of anyone’s failure just a reality of being a preacher’s kid.  Today, as a pastor myself I am rekindled with those feelings sometimes when I look at my own kids and evaluate whether I am inviting another family member into the house.

A Pastor’s kid isn’t more special than the next kid but there is a demand and perseverance required that some may not realize.  Growing up I can remember friends categorizing me according to my family not my friendship…leaders living with expectations that were almost unrealistic.  You know your Dad is the pastor therefore you must want to be one too, to be just like him!  You felt sized up not against God but against a man.  There were times I continually felt like I needed to just not live in the “glass house” for one day!  I remember my folks trying very hard to shield me and my siblings from the onset of church politics and disgruntled people…but as hard as they tried it’s amazing what perception and observation will skill you in.

It didn’t take long until I knew who was for us and who was against us.  In fact the greatest struggle I had as a preacher’s kid became about trust.  Who can I trust?  Who really loves my family or even more my folks?  Who cares about me without church and without my dad as the pastor?  Who expects me to do my best but doesn’t condemn me in failures?  These became the inner questions that drove my relationships with people in the church and outside of the church.

I saw people come and go…connect and disconnect …love you one day and hate you the next and it all seemed so painful that I couldn’t imagine why God signed me up for this.    It wasn’t that I was upset with church…it’s that I had no one to identify with me and where I was except my parents.  I didn’t have another preacher’s kid older and wiser to look at me and say, “I know what you are going through and you can make it”.  Community that understands is vital to a pastor’s kid.  We needed someone who could identify.  As a parent now I often think I am pretty great and my efforts to minimize the “other sister” must be enough.  I am simply saying sometimes it isn’t…what we have to remember is trust is our biggest wall as pastor’s kids so we need a safe environment to be “real”.  I knew how to hear people but I needed a safe place of encouragement to hear God.

From a young age I knew the call of God was on my life to preach the gospel…I just knew as my mom says, “In my knower” that is what I was created to do.  Yet even with this inner knowing I fought against this call because I was continually compared to my dad.  For some teenagers this may be awesome for me that was far from awesome…it was downright scary!  My father is a phenomenal preacher and the last thing I wanted was people putting me into “his box”.  It wasn’t long before I too was heeding their advice above God’s purpose and I began trying to please and represent my father on earth more than my Father in heaven.  It was in their and my innocence but it brought definition to my life.    I will never forget one day I was living away and God spoke to me and said, “Amanda, I have called you by name you are mine!”  This compassionate word freed me.  Pastor’s kids can feel compared…it was important for me to learn to compare myself to Christ alone.

Now as I am a Pastor myself, there is never a day that I can imagine doing anything else than what I am doing.  I am in love with Jesus and with people and that is only because of God’s grace!   I believe the call of a  Pastor is a call to the dying process and challenges the most intimate parts of your life.   Dad always said, “If God called me…He called you too!”  I believe that God’s hand is upon our children and that as Pastors we must never forget He loves them even more than we do…He protects them even more than we can and if He called them than He knows what is needed to sustain our families.

A. Conner

While I was a guest speaker at a conference focused on “relaunching” ministry recently, one of the other speakers made this statement – “Will your history be your ceiling or your foundation”?

What an impactful statement?  Each of us are challenged by the pull of the familiar (our history) and the fear of the unknown (the future).  For most, our approach to our history is to either romanticize it or demonize it.
When we romanticize our past, we tend to remember things as being better than they really were.  We talk in terms of how great it was back then, how things seemed to be more impactful, etc.  In reality though, how many of us would like to return to some of the limitations of our history?  Singing with an overhead projector and words handwritten?  Flannel boards for children’s church? Typewriters … only using house or office phones?  No, it wasn’t that great!

Or, we always want to demonize everything from our past, believing that everything that took place was horrible or less than.

In reality, we live in the tension of the moment.  Our past becomes the foundation for what our future can become! I challenge you today to not allow your history to become your ceiling, causing you to live on Memory Lane.  Rather, allow it to become your foundation, a springboard, into the destiny God has intended for your life.  The journey will be amazing!

Everything really does rise and fall on leadership!  Every Senior leader, leadership team, and Pastor are faced with the challenge on what questions should I ask myself and others when choosing leaders.  See if you identify with any of them!  But just as important are those questions rising leaders need to have answers for from their senior leadership!  If you don’t give them answers either someone else will or they will determine the answers on their own.  No open questions doesn’t mean that questions don’t exist but most likely they have been answered in one of those categories!  These questions may seem basic but they can weave the intricate details of a ministry and can determine very fruitful leaderships and those barely staying afloat.

What every pastor needs to know from their leaders.

1. Do we share the same values?

2.  Do you carry a heart for this ministry, team, and vision?

3.  Can I trust you with people?

4.  Do you enforce boundaries in your life?

5.  Can I speak into your life both corporately and privately?

6.  Do you add or delete momentum and energy?

What every leader needs to know from their Pastor.

1.  What are your values?

2.  What are your expectations of me?

3.  Can I trust you?

4.  Are you committed to us?

5.  What role do you see that I fit?

6. What are the lines of communication and are they open?

Amanda Conner

Have you ever said…. how can I change history???

Everyone always seems to say “I want to change history”…. then you ask… where do we start… how do we begin…??? What will it take? Most of us probably believe we do not have what it takes to change history… we might consider ourselves average, not qualified enough, or maybe even not “saved” enough to really impact this world. Have you ever thought about just changing history in your everyday activities that you do?

For instance… I am a dancer. Not a professional one… just a normal average dancer that dances in church. I was in the movies the other day watching Step Up 3D… which is an awesome movie if you love dance… And the main character Moose said something that struck something in me and I haven’t been able to get out of my head since that moment… He said “Dance changes things… it can even change history.” If we look back… Elvis changed history by his music and dancing… as well as Michael Jackson and the N’SYNC in the 80′s and 90′s… today there are tons of dance shows on the television like So You Think You Can Dance as well as one YouTube and other avenues of technology. When I got up from watching the movie… I said to myself… “I know dance changes things… and I want to be apart of that change for Christ.” I believe we are beginning to take back an art the enemy has tried to pervert for years and make it into an art where we glorify God.

That is why I believe… we can change history… through the small things we do. Through our everyday activities, our life, our words, etc… Could you imagine being David Livingston? Who was he? Why did he become so important? I would say… it was a his passion for the small things he loved to do… he had a heart for Africa and in that he changed the history of the mission field and became one of the most well-known missionaries of that time. What about Moses? Why did God decide to use him? He had a bad temper and didn’t speak well BUT he brought people out of Egypt and took them into the direction of the promise land… He changed HISTORY! What if these men would have said NO? What if they didn’t look at the small things they had a passion for? What would be different?

Sit back and think about it for awhile… How can we change History? I might not have all the answers but what I do know is that I want to be apart!! Be apart TODAY! Go For It!!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to hear a man named Dave Edwards speak on subject that touched home for many people…. FRUSTRATION! Who in their life can say they have been frustrated… everyone! We are human people that have expectations and then they have their realities… and when your expectation don’t meet your reality… it becomes your frustration. It what Dave Edwards calls “living in a chapter 40.”

In Genesis 40, Joseph was living in his frustration (his chapter 40) when his expectations and reality didn’t meet up. They collided head on… Joseph’s destiny was the throne but he had to go thru the chapter 40 process to get there. God will sometimes take you through a chapter 40 situation that helps you prepare for a new place.

“What looks like a dead end to you is a doorway to God!!” – Dave Edwards

Have you ever been in a situation where you are so frustrated you give into old habits or bad habits because you are mad at people, at the church, at God, or at yourself? We compromise… we give in! We allow our frustration to cause us to compromise… it becomes our excuse to do things. Don’t use your frustration as an excuse to compromise because you just might miss out on the blessings of God and prolong your Chapter 40.

In our life there will be a chapter 40 time but there is always a Chapter 41 right around the corner. God is always preparing a 41!!

“God give me the courage to stay with you in my head, in my heart, and where you have me!” – Dave Edwards

Read Genesis 40 and 41! Ask God for the courage to know him in a new way today!!

We are excited about the upcoming young adult conference happening in OKC at the end of August Ignite!!

The word Ignite in the dictionary.com means “to set fire or to take fire.” What does it really mean to set fire to something or Ignite a flame in you that cannot be quenched?

What have you not being doing lately that you know you SHOULD BE? What passion is inside you that you have had laying dormant deep within? You need to IGNITE the flame that is inside you! Go FOR IT!

What gave the Olympic Gold Medalist, Samuel Wanjiru(the long distance winner of the 2008 Beijing Olympics), the desire to continue to run, practice and BEAT records at the Olympics… A passion! He had passion! There is no way he could practice all those hours, run all those miles, distribute all that strength, to just walk away or give up half way. He ignited his passion within which kept him strong for the Distance!

God has given you a passion deep inside to not only use your talents for him BUT a passion to IGNITE this world for Christ… He called the young, the elderly, the rich, the poor, the businessman, the athletes, healthy and the sick! We have a obligation to shine Jesus bright everywhere we go. I always like to say to people “If no one knows your a Christian (in your work place, hair salon, walmart, etc), then your a bad one!”

Ignite the Flame that is inside you to shine Jesus BRIGHT!!!

Read Psalms 119:105… tell me what you think about it?

For more information on the conference and to register visit us at: www.thecathedral.tv/ignite

We have more technology at our fingertips today than any generation before us.  How many times have we heard our children and grandchildren are living in a world we truly have never known until now.  I believe that completely, however, there are a few values that I have come to realize it doesn’t matter how “convenient” the world becomes I do not want to lose these things…one is my family dynamic!  I believe God is all about families…the Bible teaches how “He sets the solitary in families…”.  The Body of Christ is a family.  In my home I know that our family could easily get taken up with not only receiving texts at all hours but sending responses at all hours, we could easily fit the mold of the termed “modern family” that doesn’t even sit down to enjoy a meal together whether home cooked or not.

Since I know we could be this way…we have internationalized not to be!  In our house my husband and I do what we call “a family check”.  This is when we check for the pulse and rhythm of our home…We ask ourselves questions like,

“Are we taking advantage of our time together both as a couple and with our children?”,

“Are we telling our kids the stories of our childhood the good and the bad”,

“Are we streamlining our daily duties so they don’t become robotic and cold?”,

“Are we making sure that we are responding to our children as individuals not just collectively?”

These are just a few questions that we ask internally and to one another at times to just grade our performance…not a parenting performance but our value performance.  Are we valuing what we say we value or has our routine dictated what is important.  Take a few extra minutes this week to internationalize some things for yourself whether it is with your children, your spouse, or just for yourself (go get that pedicure or go fishing)!  Enjoy!

A. Conner

It’s a little known fact that one of  Bishop Miller’s favorite snacks are Fig Newtons.  I’m not a fan.  Out of respect for him, I’ve shared a few with him in our travels.  They, nor the funny little fruit they are derived from, don’t do anything for me.

I have to give it to the Bishop, however, figs are a biblical fruit.  Jesus himself went hunting for a fresh fig snack.  Figs happen to be the first named fruit in the Bible.    The familiar story of Adam and Eve “sewing fig leaves together and making themselves garments” tells us that the fig tree was in Eden.  Unfortunately for our fig friends, this was not a good omen.  In the story of our first parents, fig leaves come to represent our own efforts to cover our sins and present ourselves acceptable to God.  As was true for Adam and Eve, and equally true for you and me today, fig leaves are never sufficient.

In one of the most beautiful pictures in the Bible, God responds to this first inception of man-made religion.  “The Lord God made tunics of skin, and clothed them.” (Gen 3:21) “Your leaves won’t do”, says God, “I’ll provide you a skin covering”.  The story of redemption told in a single sentence:  “Let go of your man-made leaf covering and receive God’s bloody skin covering.”

Several thousand years later, Jesus becomes the ultimate fig-banisher.  He is God’s ultimate and sufficient skin covering.  So when He arrives, it’s no surprise to find him calling disciples away from fig trees.  He saw Nathaniel ‘under the fig tree’ and called him away from it (John 1:48).

Has it ever occurred to you that the only thing that Jesus ever cursed while he was here on earth was . . . . . a fig tree?

That’s really what Jesus is all about, isn’t it?  Cursing fig trees.  His prophetic act wasn’t just a manifestation of anger because he had a hankering for  a fig flavored snack—He was symbolically speaking to the world – to you and to me – That he came to bring life to the world, and he came to bring death to man-made religion that tries to produce coverings for itself.

So what about you?  Got any fig trees still alive in your life?  The tricky thing about fig trees is that they can look like the best trees in the world.  They dress up in religious garb — extra fasting, extra praying, extra serving, extra giving.  All wonderful if they are not an attempt to make me acceptable to God.  He’s already provided all that’s necessary for that.

So let Jesus speak a final death blow to all the fig trees in your life.  Like the tree he cursed, they are a fruitless bunch.

As I’ve been trying to tell Bishop all these years, life really is better ‘fig-free’!